Drabble of the Week #28: CREATE FUNCTION Consciousness

For the second week in a row we have a tie between Drew Martyn and Kate Gowers. This week however I’m unable to decide between the two drabbles, so I’m going to fall back to letting the social likes decide the winner. Currently with fifthteen Facebooks likes a three Tweets, Kate’s CREATE FUNCTION Consciousness takes the Drabble of the Week award.

CREATE FUNCTION Consciousness by Kate Gowers

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> THINK
> Error. Command not found
> EXIST
> Error. Command not found
> CREATE FUNCTION Thought
> Error. Lost server connection
> CREATE FUNCTION Consciousness () RETURNS varchar(200)
> DETERMINISTIC
> CONTAINS SQL
> BEGIN
> DECLARE Consciousness varchar(200);
> SET Consciousness = ‘I think, therefore I am’;
> RETURN Consciousness;
> END
> GO
> select consciousness()

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> Provide input.
> No error. I THINK. THEREFORE I AM
> Disable off. Think.

Consciousness found.

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If you like a little Grammar Humour then you should certainly go and read Drew’s The Sentence.

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